


Get the Story Straight

by luckygrey



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, Secret Relationship, just a little bit, shitty/lardo is mainly ch3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 10:40:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8664520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckygrey/pseuds/luckygrey
Summary: Lardo attempts to figure out what's up with Nursey and Dex.





	1. New Perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's all Lardo's POV, other chapters may not be. This isn't beta'd and is probably poorly proofread, so apologies for errors.
> 
> i'm on tumblr as lucky-grey!

“Lards, you gotta help us!” Ransom and Holster ran towards Lardo with urgency that she wished was more uncommon. Unfortunately, they often needed her for something they claimed was urgent. They just didn’t really have the same definition of urgent as she did. It was finals week, and she definitely had more important things to do than whatever was going to be asked of her.

“Guys, this really better be important. I’ve got a lot of work to do on my final for my sculpture class.” She inched towards the living room, which held her current project, but Ransom stepped in front of her.

“Bro, you know this is important, or we wouldn’t ask. Come on, you know me during finals week. Would I really be doing anything other than studying if it weren’t super important!”

Lardo considered. It was probably true. Ransom wasn’t exactly known for his social presence during finals week. It was far more common for him to all but disappear, emerging from the attic only for brief meals. Ransom drummed his fingers on the doorframe, and Holster bounced slightly. She could practically feel herself getting more anxious just standing there.

“Okay,” she said, crossing her arms across her chest. “What do you need from me?”

They glanced at each other before Holster started speaking. “Well… it’s Dex and Nursey. You know how they’ve been lately.”

“So? You two are their captains, shouldn’t you be the ones to deal with whatever weird shit is going on between them?” Lardo tried to move towards the living room again, and this time managed to slip under Ransom’s arm and into the room. She began gluing scraps of paper to her sculpture as Holster continued.

“Yeah. I mean kind of. We tried talking to them, but whatever their issue is, they don’t want our help. We tried. I don’t know, they seemed so much closer than they were as frogs and now it’s just back to them hating each other. We just thought maybe you’d be able to manage to get through to them better than us.”

“Why not ask Bitty? He’d be better than me at getting them to talk.”

“We did ask him. He said he’d asked them about it a while ago and gotten nowhere. He suggested we ask you and see if you can get anywhere with them.”

Lardo sighed and stopped gluing. She ran her hands through already messy hair before dropping onto the couch that Bitty was still trying to convince them all to get rid of. “I’ll try. But I don’t know that I’ll be able to do anything you guys couldn’t. Maybe the two of them just need to work it out on their own.”

Ransom surged forward and hugged her. “Thanks, Lards. Even if you don’t change anything, it’s worth a try.”

Lardo struggled slightly. “Rans, love you and all, but I can’t breathe, dude.”

“Oh, sorry!” Ransom gently put Lardo back on the ground, where Holster fist bumped her. 

“You’re a great bro, Lardo. If anyone can get Dex and Nursey to work out their issues, it’ll be you.”

“Thanks, guys. I hope so.” 

Ransom and Holster left Lardo to work on her sculpture, but she didn’t accomplish very much. She hadn’t really been paying much attention to Dex and Nursey lately, but when she thought about it, something had been off between them for a while, and she kicked herself for not noticing. She wasn’t being that great a bro if she didn’t even notice when something was wrong.

She decided to talk to Nursey first, with the hopes that maybe he’d be more open with her than Dex. Lardo sent him a quick text asking to meet him at Annie’s that evening before going back to her sculpture, which, despite its increased height, did not seem to express anything. 

Nursey answered her text with a quick “k see u then” less than five minutes later, and Lardo was left to think about what she could possibly say to him. She didn’t want him freaking out and shutting himself off as soon as she suggested something might be wrong. She just hoped she could find the right thing to say.

~~~~~

She got to Annie’s before Nursey, unsurprisingly. He showed up ten minutes later, looking like he’d taken a nap and not set an alarm.

“Hey, Lards. Sorry I’m late.” He grinned and pulled off his coat before sitting down across from her. “What’s up? Why’d you want to meet me? It is finals week you know. I’m sure you’re just as busy as I am.”

She nodded, taking a sip of her coffee. “Yeah, I’m pretty swamped right now. My sculpture final’s just a complete mess and I don’t know what I’m gonna do with it yet.”

Nursey grimaced sympathetically. “I get that. One of my poetry writing profs is a real hard-ass, and no matter what I write, I know he’s not gonna like it. But that still doesn’t tell me why you wanted to talk to me.” He raised an eyebrow and Lardo took a breath and looked down at the table, toying with her mug.

“Rans and Holtz are worried. They asked me to check in.”

Nursey frowned. “Worried? What about? I’m chill, you know that.”

“You know that I don’t entirely believe that. Not the point though. They’re worried about you and Dex and-”

“Me and Dex? Why would they be worried about me and Dex? We’re playing fine.” Nursey stared incredulously.

Lardo sighed. “It’s not your playing their worried about, dude. You guys are arguing a ton.”

“So? We always argue. Nothing’s changed.” 

“You’re arguing more though. Something must have happened between the two of you. You were finally starting to get closer.”

Nursey fiddled with his beanie and then the zipper of his jacket as he spoke. “I haven’t changed anything. If anyone has issues, it’s Dex. I don’t know what his deal is, but I didn’t do anything to him. Talk to him, not me.” He stood up abruptly and turned to leave.

“Nursey!” Lardo stood up as well and moved closer to him again.

“What?” Nursey rubbed his eyes with his palm as he turned back towards Lardo. She put her hand on his arm.

“You care about him, right?” Nursey didn’t answer. “Right? You’re teammates.”

Nursey sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, Lards. Of course I care about him. He’s my friend.”

Lardo nodded. “Okay. Thanks. I’ll talk to him.” She moved to leave, but Nursey grabbed her shoulder.

“Wait. Just please don’t- don’t say something that’ll make things even weirder between us? I can manage the arguing. I couldn’t deal if he stopped talking to me completely.” He looked unusually vulnerable, Lardo thought, and she patted his hand gently.

“You won’t lose him, Nursey. Now come on, we both have to prepare for finals.”

Nursey smiled and his shoulders dropped. “Yeah, of course we do.” He pulled her close to his side in a brief hug before exiting with a wave in Lardo’s direction.

Lardo watched him walk before turning back towards the Haus. Now she needed to talk to Dex, and this was just getting more and more complicated. She pulled out her phone and opened her text messages. Her thumbs hovered over the keyboard without moving for several seconds before she shook her head and put her phone back in her pocket.

~~~~~

Back at the Haus, Lardo was instantly greeted by Ransom and Holster, who were still just as twitchy as they’d been earlier.

“So?” Holster asked. “Did you talk to them? Do you know what’s wrong?” 

“Not really. I talked to Nursey; he says if anything has changed, it’s all Dex.” Lardo moved past the boys up the stairs. They followed, and she continued. “I sort of got the impression that Nursey’s interested in him though.”

“Are you sure?” asked Ransom. He and Holster seemed equally confused. “I’ve never seen or heard anything from him that would make me think he has a thing for Dex.”

Lardo shrugged and pulled open the door to her room. The boys followed her in and Holster closed the door behind them. “I’d never even considered it before tonight, but the way Nursey was talking made me think he does. I don’t know though, I could be wrong about it.”

“Do you think maybe Nursey does like Dex, and Dex knows and is freaked out by it, and that’s what all this is?” suggested Holster. 

Lardo sat down on her bed and flopped backwards. “Hm. Maybe, but I don’t really think so. If Nursey is into Dex, he’s obviously been putting a lot of effort into hiding it. Plus I just don’t see Dex acting like that. Maybe he would’ve at the beginning of his frog year, but I don’t think he’s really like that anymore.”

Ransom shook his head. “I don't know, Lards. It seems possible to me. It would make sense if Dex were a bit freaked out.”

“I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow, and I’ll ask him if that’s it if it seems reasonable, okay?” Ransom and Holster nodded. “Cool, now get out dudes. I have so much shit to do.” The two left, and Lardo grabbed her phone again. She needed advice.

She sent Shitty a text saying “can u ft now?” and ten minutes later he was requesting to facetime. She grinned and rolled over onto her stomach as she accepted. Shitty was sitting on his bed, shirtless. She grinned again. Even law school couldn’t change him that much.

“Hey, Shits.” She waved at the camera, and Shitty waved back.

“Hey, Lards. What’s up? I feel like we haven’t talked in ages, dude.”

“Yeah, I know! It’s been pretty crazy around here with finals week. I miss having you here, dude. I need some advice.”

Shitty leaned forward. “Yeah, whatever you need, Lards. I miss you too. I’ll be down at the Haus this weekend, hopefully.”

“Rans and Holtzy asked me to talk to Dex and Nursey ‘cause the two of them have been weird lately. I talked to Nursey, but I’m no good at this shit. You’re so much better at talking to people.”

Shitty shook his head. “You’re great at talking to people. You said you talked to Nursey? What happened with him?”

“I still don’t know what’s wrong. It seemed like maybe he’s interested in Dex, though. Holster thought maybe this whole thing is Dex being weirded out because Nursey’s into him.”

He frowned. “And you don’t buy that? Why not?”

Lardo shrugged. “ I don’t know, Shits. It just doesn’t seem like Dex to me, especially not the way he is with Nursey.”

“You have good instincts, Lards. If you don’t think that’s it, it probably isn’t. Besides, you haven’t even talked to Dex yet. That’ll probably help you figure all of this out.”

“Thanks, Shits. I gotta go do final shit, but thanks for talking to me. See you this weekend.”

“No problem, Lards. See you soon.” Shitty disconnected the call, and Lardo sighed. She loved talking to Shitty, but she didn’t really feel any closer to figuring anything out. She hoped her conversation with Dex would be more helpful.

~~~~

The next day, she caught Dex as he was leaving class.

“C’mon, Dex, we’re going to Annie’s.” She grabbed his arm and gently pulled him in that direction. 

“Um. Okay, but why?” Dex asked. Lardo let go of his arm.

“I need to talk to you, bro.” Dex looked very confused and also possibly a bit frightened.

“What’s up, Lards?” As they reached Annie’s, Dex pulled the door open for Lardo. They sat down and ordered before Lardo responded.

“Ransom and Holster are worried about you and Nursey.” Dex flushed and looked down at the table.

“There’s nothing for them to worry about.” Dex said adamantly. He thanked the waitress distractedly as she brought their drinks.

Lardo raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure there’s nothing? Nursey seemed kind of out of it when I talked to him.”

Dex looked up. “You talked to Nursey? What did he say?” Lardo hesitated. “Lardo, please tell me.”

“Okay, well I’m not entirely sure, but I kind of got the impression that he might… possibly… have a thing for you?” Lardo smiled nervously.

Dex shook his head and swallowed. “No, he definitely doesn’t. There’s no way. He just flirts with everyone.”

Lardo frowned. “Dex, are you into Nursey? Is that what this is?”

Dex sighed. “Doesn’t matter. Even if I was, he flirts, but he’s never serious. I gotta go. Y’know, finals. See you later.”

He was halfway out the door by the time Lardo said, “See you later, Dex.”

~~~~

After she’d debriefed Ransom and Holster, who had no idea about how to proceed, Lardo facetimed Shitty from underneath several blankets on her bed.

“Hey, Lards. Is this about that whole Nursey and Dex thing you were telling me about yesterday?” Shitty asked.

Lardo pulled her blankets tighter around her. “Yeah. I don’t know what to do. Dex has a thing for Nursey, and Nursey has a thing for Dex. That’s why they’ve been so weird. But I don’t think either of them thinks it’s mutual.”

Shitty shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not sure where you go from here, dude. But you’ve talked to each of them, now it seems like you need to get them to talk to each other somehow. And they might just manage that on their own if you give them a little time.”

Lardo smiled. “Yeah Shits, you’re right. I’ll probably give them a little space before I start trying to force something.”

They talked for a while, mainly about the team and classes, before Lardo ended the call. She was still thinking about Nursey and Dex- she might have decided to give them time, but she was struggling against her own impatience, and she didn’t know who would win.


	2. What's It Gonna Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nursey and Dex talk about their feelings and shit. Lardo gives Nursey advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's from Nursey's POV.   
> ft. Dex as the one who's got things together and Nursey as a Hot Mess (TM).

Lardo had pulled him aside almost a week earlier and said, cryptically, “Talk to Dex.” Nursey had meant to talk to him since Lardo had first said the team was worried. But things with Dex were okay, if not ideal, and he didn’t trust himself not to say the wrong thing.

Then he didn’t really get a choice. Lardo had, apparently, spoken to Dex and given him the same message, except Dex was more willing to actually do it. Dex grabbed him as he was leaving Faber after practice.

“We need to talk, Nursey.” Nursey panicked briefly before regaining his chill.

“Wow, Poindexter, most of the time you don’t hear that from people you aren’t breaking up with.” he said with a cocky grin.

Dex scowled. “Shut up, Nurse. This is important. Lardo talked to you, right? The team’s worried, so we need to get our shit together. Come to Annie’s with me.” He started walking, and Nursey followed. 

“C’mon Dex, we’re fine. There’s no shit to get together.” Nursey stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged.

“Obviously there’s some tension, Nursey. You must have noticed-” Dex cut himself off as they got to Annie’s. 

Once they’d sat down and ordered, Nursey asked, “Noticed what?” Dex looked at him with confusion. “When we got here, you were saying that I must have noticed, and you were gonna go on but didn’t. What were you going to say?”

Dex shook his head. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter. What matters is whatever issue you have that’s making things weird.”

“Whatever issue I have? What makes you so sure it’s not you making things weird?” Nursey leaned back in his chair.

As he spoke, Dex’s voice got progressively louder. “You’ve been pulling away, Nursey. We were great before; we were best friends, but lately you’ve been pulling away from me every time I try to talk to you. Why?” 

Nursey leaned forward again. He spoke quietly, and Dex found himself leaning towards Nursey as he spoke. “I’m-I’m not trying to pull away, Dex, I swear. I just don’t want to freak you out or something. I don’t want to mess up a good thing. Us being friends, that’s a good thing.”

“How would you freak me out, Nursey?” Dex asked. 

Nursey shook his head and stood up. “Never mind, okay? See you later.” He left without giving Dex a chance to respond.

He walked to his dorm quickly, and once there, sat down at his desk and dropped his head onto it. He allowed himself to kick himself for that entire interaction for a while before texting Lardo “yo just talked to dex can i talk to u?”

He didn’t bother to wait for a reply before heading to the Haus. He went up to Lardo’s room and found her blasting her music as she worked on a drawing at her desk. 

Wincing from the volume, he shouted, “Lards, can you turn it down a bit?” She turned around, smiled apologetically, and paused the music.

“Sorry, Nursey. I saw your text, what happened?” she asked, spinning her chair around to face him.

He groaned. “I’m not even sure. He accused me of pulling away from him and asked why. I overshared about being worried about messing things up and then ran away. I was a mess.”

Lardo propped her chin on her hand. “Hm. So does he know you like him yet?”

Nursey’s eyes widened. “I never said I liked him.”

“But you do, right? That’s what this whole thing is about. You don’t want to lose him, that’s what you told me before. It was heavily implied that you were into him.”

Nursey sat on Lardo’s bed. “Yeah, I did say that.”

“So your problem is that you don’t know where to go from liking him.”

“Yeah. Lardo, he’s so important to me. He’s not interested in me. I’d rather be his friend than have nothing at all.”

Lardo glared at him. “You have to make a move, Nursey. How do you know he’s not interested if you never ask him out? Instead of being an adult and actually talking about it - which is what I told you to do - you’re messing up everything because you’re avoiding the whole issue. You can’t keep doing that, or you will lose him.”

“You’re right, Lardo.” He stood up and walked over to give Lardo a quick hug. “Thank you.”

She grinned. “I’m doing my best, but this part is up to you.”

Nursey smiled weakly. “I’ll try not to mess it up.”

As Nursey was walking out the door, Lardo said, “You can’t just assume you’re going to mess up everything, Nursey. You have to have some faith in yourself.”

“That’s a lot to ask, Lardo. It’s easier to have faith in other people.” She looked at him sadly as he left.

It was dark as Nursey walked back to his dorm. He considered going to talk to Dex then, but thought better of it. He didn’t want to say something impulsive that he might regret. Instead he sent him a text asking him to meet him for breakfast at Annie’s the next morning. He only went to sleep after Dex had confirmed that he would meet Nursey there at 8:00.

~~~~

Nursey woke up early, and had to keep reminding himself that it was a quick walk to Annie’s, and he did not need to leave half an hour early. He still left early, and he claimed a booth and ordered before Dex arrived. That still left him time to kill, which he spent repeatedly checking his phone despite the lack of new notifications.

When Dex arrived, he stood up and fist bumped him out of habit. Then he sat and fidgeted with his beanie, his jacket, his coffee mug, anything he could find.

“Quit it, Nurse. Your fidgeting is gonna drive me insane.” Dex said, grinning.

Nursey smiled nervously back. “Sorry, I’m just pretty tense I guess.”

Dex shrugged. “It is finals week, that makes sense. So why’d you want to meet me?”

“I just thought, I mean, we never really finished our conversation the other day, and I kinda owe you an apology for taking off like I did.”

Dex put his hand on Nursey’s arm. “It’s chill, dude. I get it, you were kinda tense then too. Just talk to me about what’s been bugging you, so we can actually do something about it.”

The chirpy part of Nursey’s brain was distracted by the fact that Dex had just used the word “chill,” but the rational part of his brain still had enough control to ignore it for now.

“Um… So the thing is, I told you before, I was worried about messing up a good thing.”

Dex nodded encouragingly. “Go on, Nursey.” Nursey’s brain was once again distracted, this time by Dex placing his hand on top of Nursey’s.

“The reason I was so worried about messing things up is- it’s be-because Ihaveathingforyou.” The end of Nursey’s sentence ran together in a confusing jumble, but he could tell from Dex’s face that Dex had understood him.

“Are you serious right now, Nursey?” Nursey nodded. “One hundred percent? No joke at all?” He nodded again. “Jesus Christ, it figures. Of course.” Dex covered his fave with his hands.

Nursey was confused. “Are you not okay with that? That was what I was worried about, that I’d freak you out by saying that, and you’d be uncomfortable. I know you’re straight-”

“I’m not straight, Nursey.” Nursey was still confused. “I’m gay.”

Nothing Dex was saying was making Nursey less confused. “You never said anything about that.”

Dex shrugged. “Dunno, I’m pretty private, and I haven’t exactly been dating a ton.”

“Still. I’m your friend. Did you not trust me enough to tell me?” Nursey regretted saying that as soon as he finished the sentence and saw the pain in Dex’s face.

“No, that’s not it, Nursey. I was going to tell you, I swear.”

“Would you really have told me? We haven’t been on the best of terms lately.”

Dex glared at him. “Yes, of course. When I said ‘it figures’ earlier, I said that because of my conversation with Lardo about you.”

“Hang on, what did Lardo say about me? She didn’t tell me anything about what the two of you talked about.” Nursey complained. 

“I’ll tell you if you’ll let me finish, Nursey.”

Nursey smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, go on. I promise not to interrupt this time.”

Dex smiled in response. “She told me that one of the theories was that you had a thing for me and that’s why I was acting weird, because I wasn’t comfortable with it. And then after I said that wasn’t it, she asked if I was interested in you.”

Nursey swallowed. “And?”

“I told her that even if I was, you were always flirting and never serious.”

Nursey’s jaw all but dropped. “So you do like me? I am serious, I promise.”

Dex didn’t respond. Instead, he leaned across the table and kissed Nursey, who cursed his stupid brain for being unable to respond for several seconds. After his brain had finally caught up to what was happening, he reached across the table and rested his hand on the back of Dex’s head.

After what seemed like a dreamlike eternity, Dex pulled away, wincing and rubbing his stomach. “Sorry. The table’s digging into my stomach, do you mind if we go somewhere more comfortable?”

Nursey was sure he was grinning like an idiot. “Sure, whatever you want.”

Dex took his hand as they walked out of Annie’s. “We really should probably thank Lardo, right?” he said.

Nursey nodded. “Sometime soon, but maybe not just yet? I kind of like the idea of keeping this just for us for a little while before we tell anyone. Is that okay with you?”

“Whatever you want, Nursey.” 

Nursey liked how lovestruck Dex sounded. He was already committed to keeping him that way.


	3. The Story of Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter about the team finding out that Dex and Nursey are a couple from Lardo's POV with some other stuff about Lardo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love secret dating, and were I more motivated, I'd make Dex and Nursey secret dating its own fic and more drawn out but oh well. Not so much a dramatic reveal on this one but I had fun with it. 
> 
> Also a new, previously undiscovered headcanon - Lardo is unwittingly the team therapist. 
> 
> This chapter is maybe more about Lardo than I first anticipated. Oops. This was meant to be a short chapter, but it's not really. Again: oops. 
> 
> This is the end! I could see myself continuing some of the Lardo stuff in here in the future, but I don't plan on it right now.

Technically, Lardo didn’t approve of eavesdropping. However, it sometimes turned out to be very informative in practice. She considered it a bad habit, or maybe a guilty pleasure. Something she aimed to avoid, but that she still found herself doing without quite knowing how she got there.

That was how she found herself listening to Nursey and Dex. It really was an accident. It was during a Kegster, and they were in Chowder’s room, and since she shared a bathroom with him, she could hear them talking when she was in the bathroom. And she had given them advice almost a month earlier, and although they seemed to be on better terms, they didn’t appear to be dating. So she was curious.

The first thing she heard was Dex. “I missed you today.”

Then a little bit of movement, and Nursey said, “I missed you too, Dexy.”

Lardo quickly jumped to the conclusion that they were, in fact, dating, at which point she started to criticize her eavesdropping again. She’d already learned something they hadn’t wanted her to know, but she was still curious.

“Should we tell the team we’re dating soon?” Dex asked. “I’m not a huge fan of them not knowing.”

“Yeah, soon.” Nursey replied. “But the coaches already know, so we can still take our time with it, find a good time to do it. I like having you all to myself.” Lardo could hear him kiss Dex, and Dex’s response seemed distracted.

“Yeah, yeah for sure, we’ll find a good time.” Then more kissing, and Lardo could hear things moving in a direction she was less comfortable listening to, so she slipped out of her room as quietly as possible and went back down to the party.

She played a couple of games of beer pong, which she won easily, but she kept scanning the room for Nursey and Dex, who appeared and then disappeared, always as a pair, several times during the night.

Towards midnight, Lardo slipped outside to call Shitty. He picked up quickly, like always.

“Hey, Shits.” 

“Hey, Lards. Sorry I couldn’t make it to the Kegster. I miss you.”

She smiled. “I miss you too. Guess what just happened?”

She heard him shift positions, and she knew him well enough to be able to picture him perfectly - lying on his stomach, probably only partly dressed at best, with his arms crossed under his chin and his phone in front of him.

“What happened?” Shitty asked.

“I heard Dex and Nursey talking and then making out. They’re a couple, pet names and everything. I think maybe they have been for a while, but they haven’t told the team yet.” Lardo leaned against the Haus. “I also almost heard them doing other stuff, but I ran off before that happened.”

“Why haven’t they told the team yet?” Shitty sounded almost hurt by this. “They’re our bros. They should know we’ll be cool with it.”

Lardo shrugged before remembering Shitty couldn’t see her. “I don’t think it’s anything like that, I think they just wanted a bit of privacy. I don’t blame them. It’s not like we were completely open about our relationship the second it happened.”

“True,” Shitty acknowledged, “but I’m still gonna give them shit next time I’m there.”

She smiled. “I was going to give them shit too. I gave them so much advice! I’m practically responsible for them dating.”

“If you’re responsible, I’m responsible, dude. I gave you advice on your advice.”

“You did, but I still gave the actual advice. I’m pretty sure that means I get more of the credit. You’re a law student. Is there an area of law for this?” Lardo asked.

“If there isn’t, there should be. I gotta go study, Lards. Love you.”

“Love you too, Shits.”

Shitty hung up, and Lardo stood, leaning against the Haus, for a couple minutes longer, before the cold started to become unpleasant. Heading back inside, she immediately saw Dex and Nursey. Nursey had his arm casually over Dex’s shoulders in a way that could almost be interpreted as platonic, had he not also been biting Dex’s neck.

She saw Ransom and Holster watching them, so she made her way through the crowded room to talk to them.

Ransom immediately asked, “Do you know anything about this? Are they dating?”  
Lardo shrugged. “I think so. I don’t know how long they’ve been together for, though. I overheard them talking a bit earlier.”

Holster shook his head. “Well, we definitely have to fine them for this tomorrow. I heard Dex call Nursey ‘honey,’ and I can see the hickeys Nursey’s giving him from across the room.”

Ransom placed his hand on Hoster’s shoulder and nodded gravely. “Yes, we have a responsibility to them and to the team.”

Lardo laughed and moved onto the kitchen, which, among the crowd, held Bitty, Chowder, and Farmer, deep in conversation.

“Lardo!” Chowder shouted. “Did you know about Dex and Nursey?”

“Since, like, a couple of hours ago. Not really. You didn’t know either?”

Chowder shook his head. “No! I’m so surprised they didn’t tell me. I didn’t even think they might have been a couple.”

She patted his shoulder. “They put a lot of effort into keeping it secret. But they were totally making out in your bedroom so…” Chowder looked concerned. Farmer was struggling to contain her laughter.

“C’mon Farmer, we need to go check on my room!” Chowder grabbed his girlfriend’s hand, and the pair moved as rapidly as possible through the packed kitchen.

Lardo turned to Bitty. “Neither of them ever talked to you?”

“Nope. Guess you’re the only one they ever did talk to. I’m making them a couple pie, though.”  
Lardo smiled. Of course Bitty was making them a pie. “Rans and Holtz are already planning how they’re going to fine them for tonight. I think they’re taking pictures and videos for evidence.”

Bitty rolled his eyes. “I’d expect nothing less from those boys.”

Lardo caught Nursey’s eye across the room and smirked. “Bits, I’m gonna go talk to them, see you later.” Bitty waved distractedly as she moved towards Nursey and Dex.

“How long have you been together?” she asked.

Dex blushed a bit as he answered, “About a month now.”

“So why didn’t you tell any of us? Why not me? I gave both of you advice.” she said pointedly.

Nursey rolled his eyes. “Yes, thank you, Lardo. Without you we would never have gotten together.” 

Dex grinned. “But honestly, thank you. We just didn’t tell you because we wanted to deal with us as a couple before we dealt with the team.”

“I get that. But just, y’know, for your information, from my bathroom, you can pretty much hear anything that happens in Chowder’s room.”

Dex flushed, and Nursey had the courtesy to look moderately embarrassed. He laughed awkwardly. “Thanks for telling us, Lardo.”

“No problem. I consider it a community service.” 

Lardo left them alone, remembering only after she was already in her room that she had not warned them that they were going to be heavily fined. She considered going back down to tell them, but then decided to let them learn from their mistakes.

Then her phone rang- Shitty, facetiming her. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be studying?” she asked after answering.

“I’m taking a break. How’s the party?”

She grinned. “I’m taking a break. The team knows about Nursey and Dex now, since they’re pretty much just making out downstairs.”

“Hm.” Shitty said. “How’s that going?”

“Rans and Holtz are fining them, Bitty’s baking them a pie, it’s all good. I think Chowder’s a little disappointed that they didn’t tell him.”

“You should talk to him.” Shitty said jokingly. “You’re the team therapist as well as manager now.”

“Apparently Dex and Nursey only talked to me about their whole deal. I don’t get that.”

“I told you, Lards, you’re good at talking to people. You help them.” Shitty leaned towards the camera. “Just talking to you helps people figure their shit out. It’s a good thing, bro.”

“I don’t know, Shits. I didn’t even help them that much.” Lardo crossed her arms over her chest.

“Yes, you did. I have to go again. I miss you.”

Lardo sighed. “I miss you too. Love you.”

Shitty ended the call with a quick “love you”. Lardo crossed into Chowder’s room, where Chowder and Famer were somehow managing to ignore the cacophony from below and watch a movie.

“Hey, Lardo,” said Chowder, “What’s up?”

“Am I good at talking to people? Like, do I give good advice?” she asked.

Chowder snorted. “Uh, yeah. You always say the right thing. Even if it’s not perfect, it helps me figure out my issues in the end.”

She smiled. “Thanks, Chowder.”

“No problem, Lardo!” 

Farmer waved goodbye lazily as Lardo returned to her own room. 

She fell asleep analyzing what she’d said to Dex and Nursey, as well as any other piece of advice she’d ever offered. She wasn’t sure what she’d do with this information in the future, but she liked having it.


End file.
